Recently, I had asked Z, my oldest son, why he feels the need to give me 7 hugs and kisses EVERY night!  Here's the thing about Z... he has his little quirks that people may call OCD tendencies. Okay, okay, so be it. We all have them to some extent.  With me it's numbers and things being even... or it just doesn't feel right.  However, this nightly ritual recently took a jump from 3 hugs and kisses to 7!  I simply wanted to know what the difference between 1 kiss and hug and 3 or 7 is !
Well, the answer he gave me absolutely pierced my heart and took my breath away! I almost am ashamed to admit it! But I will, because I know that I am not the only Mother this has happened to.  And I am always determined to leave my readers with encouragement and hope! Back to Z. His eyes welled up with tears as he looked at me and said these words," Sometimes I just don't believe that you love me!" .............. I'm sorry, every time I think about that moment I ache all over again.
How could he doubt my love for him? I am not lazy in parenting. I take them on adventures! I give them the best quality food I can! I take care of them and teach them things school will not!
Then, suddenly, I felt so selfish! Yes, I did all those things with great love and intentions! But those are all the things that are of importance to me!  Yes, I include them in things I enjoy, and they may also, but what about the things they enjoy, that I may not? How am I showing any of them that I love them? That I love who they are? How could I have been so ignorant and neglectful? I have put an immeasurable amount of pressure on them to perform well in the areas I find joy, hardly giving them an opportunity to interject their passions! 
While this was hard to hear from my firstborn, I'm so grateful that it came from his lips.  I needed to be jolted. God was showing me my selfish heart through my child, whom I have such a deep love for!  And now I'm ready for Him to transform my mind into understanding His love and, therefore, loving in that way.  Completely selflessly.
By the way, I must tell you, that moment I had with my son only set the stage for what Papa Love had in store for me that night!  This was all divinely orchestrated! As I left the boys' room I was so emotionally out of sorts! This on top of my regular stresses of the day!  I could not get to sleep.  I haven't been able to sleep well for a couple weeks! So, I had decided to turn on Netflix and scroll through the movies, hoping to be led to one. I came across one titled Ragamuffin. I had heard about it before, but no details. So, I decided to push play. And what better way to get my attention than for the opening line of the movie to be this,

  " I believe that when we get to heaven we will be asked one question... ' Did you believe that I loved you?' "

Friends, at that moment I was wrecked! I was so deeply moved by this story, by the life of Rich Mullins. I so resonated with him.  My relationship with my earthly Father was not what I had in common with him. However, I had let the Father of lies speak the script of my life for so long! I had chosen to believe every lie about myself! I was so depressed! Yet I KNEW God's truth! And I believed it for everyone else, but I still rejected it for myself.  In turn, because I did not believe that He loves me, I did not love well. It's almost as if I rejected my own capabilities to love, because I refuse to receive it! Because I can't believe it!
I can talk all I want about the truth of how I love my children and how they make me smile. I can talk all I want about how my heart aches for the lost and broken. But, until I can fully receive the love of my Heavenly Father, I cannot fully love another. No matter how much I strive to!
So, I am now stepping into an intimate relationship with Christ. Ready to be completely saturated by His love. Believing that I am so worthy to receive all His love. And I will pour out the same love I am receiving onto each one of my children.  I will love who THEY are ! I will not walk in shame because of rebuke! I will gain wisdom and insight from it and I will rise!

Believe you are loved by Him!

~ Rach

Ok believers,  I am speaking to you right now.  Do you notice what is happening outside of your box?  Do you realize that we are in a day that is literally running out of time?! 

Now is the time to shout from the mountain tops to tell everyone about Jesus Christ, the one true messiah! It is time to get our heads out of the sand and go out into this world to show God's love, that many more may turn to Him!  It's almost as though we read about the end times as though it's merely a story which requires no action on our part!  You do realize, don't you, that we are the vessels in which prophesy will be carried out through?! 

Please, forgive me if I have put you on the defense.  I am guilty of the same do to my own selfishness and routines.  I am writing with such urgency in hopes of a spiritual awakening stirring within those who have become stale in their walk with the Lord!  Time is slipping through our fingers at a rate more speedily than before, it seems! 

I praise God, truly, for all who have stepped up to be used, moved, and sent by God out into the world!! I praise Him, daily, for awakening my soul and walking me fully into His truth and glory!  We are not to fear the times we are in.  I am not fearful for myself.  I am not fearful for my children, even!  However, I am fearful for some of my loved ones and for the multitude who so deceivingly believe that being a good person is all that matters.  I ache and long for their salvation!

Now is the time for you to recognize that the supernatural realm is, indeed, more real than the reality we have known!  Yes, read the Word of God to your children daily!  Make them aware through God's Word so they will not be consumed with fear and easily deceived!  You are called to change the world!  I don't care to entertain the excuses as to why we aren't ready to, or why we are unable to!  Know this! What little effort you make to further the Kingdom of Heaven , is much progress in the Kingdom of Heaven!  In other words, do not underestimate the power of planting a seed, for see what it becomes?! You are part of the body of Christ! Therefore, your participation is necessary and crucial!  Don't handicap the body by your lack of effort or chosen ignorance! 

Be prepared!  For what reason do we attain wisdom and insight and grow knowledgeable in the unravelling of this world, if not to prepare for what is to come??  Do you see how the world, through our entertainment industry, has manipulated us into making fun of conspiracy theorists and doomsday prepping as though it is an over the top, blown out of proportion way of thinking?!  Is it not better to over prepare than to be underprepared?  Should we not have escape plans and gathering points mapped out for our loved ones?  For our church? Are we not stronger together rather than scattered?  Is it not wise to prepare storehouses with food and water for when it becomes no longer available to us?  Is it really shameful to strategically prepare for what we KNOW is bound to happen?

Also, another thing, if I may add... it's time to step out against the corruption of this world instead of taking part in being entertained by the sin that soaks our minds by way of music, movies, and lifestyles!  If we can have a spiritual encounter with Jesus by way of worship music, and be moved and encouraged by the movies that preach the Gospel, and become deeply inspired by the upright.... then what is the parallel that influences us??  It would be pure foolishness to claim that the craftiness of evil does not influence us!  What are we, as believers, defending when we argue with one another about celebrating pagan holidays and singing along to catchy tunes with worldly views ?  Who are we trying to impress, or please by supporting that which is blasphemous to our Lord?? I am not writing this from the position of being holier than thou, by any means.  I only want to raise the questions so that you will be able to really think about what your answer would be.  I, too, am easily sucked into the mindless act of allowing garbage to entertain me... to move me and influence me.  But I am more clearly seeing how it is a tool the enemy uses, not only to manipulate and brainwash, but to distract us who desire to be most effectively used by God! 

I am sorry if this is all seeming judgmental and hypocritical of me.  However, that doesn't make it any less true!  I only want us to become as effective as we are meant to be!  I want to encourage all who proclaim Jesus as Lord to rise up and walk in our God given authority and face the enemy with the confidence in truth that Satan has already been defeated!! Truly, brothers and sisters, what have we to lose by rising up against the enemy??  Now, consider what we have to lose by remaining with our heads in the sand.

You see, I don't need to answer any of these questions for you.  Does it not impact you more by coming to the realization on your own? I know Holy Spirit can move you more than I ever could!  I'm not trying to fill that roll!  I only share the very things I ponder myself.  And I, as one who still battles the desires of my flesh, reach out in hopes to find courage and accountability in those who are like-minded and desire to be obedient to the calling on their life.  There is strength in numbers, my friends!  You have no need to fear the enemy when you know who your Papa is!! Come into the realization that by us walking in our true identity in Christ causes the enemy to tremble in fear! All that the enemy can gain from us, ultimately, is our shell... our flesh.  And, as he makes every effort to take that, he is pushing us into eternity with our heavenly Father!

So, in closing, I encourage you all to put on the full armor of God!  Submerge yourselves and loved ones in the Word of God! Prepare for the inevitable! Seek God as one!  Be bold! Be fearless! Be courageous! And love those whom God loves! Spread His love like a wildfire! Leaders, don't leave your posts! You have a flock to protect! And remember, brothers and sisters, we have the last laugh!!

Much love,

~ Rach

A letter to us from our Papa Love!

For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world;
but that the world through him might be saved.
                                 ~ John 3:17

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~----------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My child,

First things first, you are precious in My sight!  Do you know that?  You are without blemish, as you have been washed by the blood of the Lamb! 

Do I know you as adulterer? No. Do I know My children by their sins, you may ask.  No. I know My children by their love. I know My children by their heart.

You have been led astray.  You have been deceived by your very own flesh!  My daughter.  My son.  Are you ashamed by the sin of adultery you have committed against your spouse?  Your friend?  Against Me?  It is Good that your sins do not sit well with your spirit!  It's what you choose to do with that conviction that will either draw you closer to My goodness, or keep you separated from Me.  Are you sorry because it hurts those you love?  Or are you sorry because you know that all which is hidden will be brought to light?  Your intentions for your repentance will determine whether or not you will return to it again and again.  Choose right living because it is right and pleasing to Me.  Not because of your fear of being exposed!

There is no reason that is excusable for such an act!  No circumstance which drives you to seek another man's wife, or another woman's husband.  If you know Me, then seek after Me in those times you feel neglect... lack of affection... abuse.  My child, do not doubt My love and unwavering affection for you!  You are My treasure!  You are the apple of My eye!  Do you not know that as you commit adultery on your spouse, you commit adultery on Me? 

You will battle your flesh constantly, yes.  But that does not mean that you may excuse your carnal desires and live in such a way that is destructive, not only to you and your loved ones, but to those who look to you as a representation of Me.  If that were the case then, would it not be suitable for me to reject you because of your abuse against Me? Against My grace?  I will not tolerate an intentional misrepresentation of My character, of My Love !  I tell you, unless you confess your sins to Me and repent of them - turn away from them and towards Me - you will not lay your head down to rest, nor will you experience the glory to which I have called you to in fullness.  You will become ill in your bones because your rejection of My correction.  For apart from Me there is no life.  And you cannot be of this world and of Me at the same time.  You cannot submit to your flesh and My will at the same time because the flesh is hostile to My will!  My child, OH, My love for you is everlasting!  Turn from your sins, of past and present, and fall into Me!  And do not continue to live in the guilt and shame of past sins for which you have already repented of.  I have forgiven you and cast it far from My thoughts of you!  Do not continue to live in the lies you have become comfortable in.  You are not of this world!  You are not a child of an eternally damned fool!  You are My child!  Rejoice in the glory you have been brought into from the transgressions you have been brought out of, by My grace! 

The love your aching heart longs for will NEVER be fully met by man because man is imperfect.  Only I can bring you full comfort and unrelenting adoration and love!  Make Me your number one and see that I will NEVER fail you!  That way you will not be tossed about by the desires of the flesh.  But your spirit will remain anchored in Me. Come to Me and I will restore that which is good.  Your marriage is good.  I will restore all that was destroyed by sin. 

You are My child!  I will not turn from you in shame nor disgust.  I will face you ,always , with outstretched arms, anticipating your return! 

Loving you eternally,
~ Papa Love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~-----------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My past does not define me!
Rather, it is I who defines my past through the grace of God!
                                                       ~ R. G.

This is my first post in this new category titled " Letters from Him"... I admit, I am a bit anxious in stepping out and openly sharing these, but I'm led to. Therefore, I will. Some may pass judgment, but that's not to be my concern.  This is simply a daughter being obedient to her Father. 

The letters written in this category are not premeditated.  They are not of mere human wisdom.  I'm simply a Scribe.  Writing this is just as much of a mystery to me as it is for you reading it. So, read it as though He is speaking it to you... because He is! Yes, He, as in God, our heavenly Father.
----------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~---------------
Hello, My love!
Oh how I have longed for such a moment to draw your attention!  In your desperation, you have stumbled upon Me here.  Quiet your thoughts right now.  Nobody is watching you as you are listening to Me right now.  You are safe to open your heart to Me. I've missed you!  I remember forming you in your Mother's womb!  Oh, the Joy I had as I created you! We've spent time together, you and I, before you were ever even brought into the world.  I knew you BEFORE I formed you in your Mother's womb!  I understand, you have forgotten.  But I have not!  I have not ever, not once, forgotten you!  I have been right here, all along, waiting for your return.  Your sweet, strong, radiant spirit has been crushed by the weight of this world!  Oh, how it deeply saddens Me to watch you go through this... to not intervene.  I had to do the same thing to My Son, you know?  I sent Him to die for your sins.  Even if you were the only one who walked the earth, and you were separated from Me by sin, I STILL would've sent Him so I could have you back!  It is true, even though Jesus died on the cross, He rose again!  Even though I knew He would return to me, He still suffered on earth... and that still was ever so painful for Me to watch!  But I want ALL to be rescued! 
I love you! Dear child, I know things are difficult.  I know you blame Me for all that has gone wrong and for all your losses.  I know that you feel like giving up so many times... but you don't!  You are so much stronger than you know.  I do not speak of physical strength, nor mental strength, nor emotional strength.  I speak of spiritual strength!  Even though you have chosen to turn from me, your spirit remembers that there is still so much more for you! Yes, sweet one - yes, I call you sweet one, do not reject My words of adoration for you!  It is how I see you.  I do not see you as man does.  I see your heart, and I see it is broken. 
I will speak to you, now, on the matter of how you have chosen to act out.  I will never condemn you!  I do not turn my nose up at you in shame or disgust!  That is not in My character. It is impossible for Me to do anything but love you because I AM Love!  Sweet one, please hear Me.  You must listen and take to heart these words I speak to you.  The hatred in your heart must be dealt with!  The acts you commit towards others, whom I love just as deeply as I love you, MUST STOP!  I do discipline those whom I love.  It is for the purpose of maturing you and bringing you into new seasons of your walk I AM calling you to!  Do not rebel any longer!  The enemy has whispered with his lying tongue too many times in your ear! I AM enraged by the foolishness you believe about yourself! 
Let Me shine the light of Truth in you for a moment...  I created you!  You are My beloved!  I long for you!  You belong with Me!  I have already chosen you, but you must choose Me ,too!  You are not under the laws of any generational curses as you choose to be in Me!  My sweet one, all you have to do is choose Me. Turn to Me and lay it all down at My feet.  The un forgiveness towards your earthly Father, for not accepting you and your unique abilities. Always causing you to strive to fit a mold you could never fit, because it wasn't intended for you to fit.  For pleading for love and affection and affirmation, but never receiving it.  For being taken advantage of because he, himself, struggled with facing his own past.  Lay it down, My sweet one.  For the bitterness towards your Mother, for always heaping loads of responsibility upon you.  For ignoring your needs and desires.  For playing games of manipulation for her own gain, leaving you used and empty.  For denying you your childhood.  For lashing out in anger at you because she didn't take  the time to deal with her own past.  My sweet one, lay it down.  For the rejection by your siblings and peers and teachers, as they'd pass judgment on you for being different.  For not having empathy for you and seeing the hurt you have and are enduring.  For saying harsh words and speaking word curses over you because, they too, have not dealt with their own past.
Yes, I have seen it all.  I have heard every word that has pierced your beautiful heart.  I have watched it harden over the months, the years.  But I AM still yours! Are you Mine still?  Will you choose Me, My sweet one?  I know you cannot begin to fathom why I have allowed so much heartache, so much loss.  Again, see My Son?  Oh, all He went through, I allowed.  He trusted Me and I did not fail Him, nor will I fail you!  There is a reason you have survived the life you have endured!  You are a voice I have chosen!  With your voice, many who have had to suffer through the very same things you have, they will be set free!  They will return to Me! They will KNOW Me!  And I AM ready to walk you into a new season, full of life and joy, if you so choose to lay down the life you have made for yourself, and follow Me. 
This is not a once in a lifetime offer, My sweet one.  I offer you this always.  Just know this, that the longer you walk blindly under the burden of shame and self condemnation, you are walking away from Me. You will not hear My voice. Not because I have left you, or given up on you.  It will be because you are choosing to stay in the false comfort of the lies that have built your dwelling place.  I AM always here. Will you please choose Me now?  Let Me lift you up so that you may see more clearly!  Your sins have been forgiven! Paid for by the precious blood of My Own Son!  All you must do is step out of the life of denial, confess and repent of the sins that have been weighing you down, and be free! You can turn away from that all, now!! 
You can choose Me right here, right now, and I will come and dwell within you.  Quiet your mind.  Pour out your heart to Me! Then, be still, and listen to Me.  I love you, My sweet one!  Are you ready to change the world with Me?

Loving you for an eternity,

                      Your Papa Love!

I love funny things kids say! This post is short...and it begs for interaction! I came across a page in my old journal that listed a couple things Saiah had said when he was only 3! He's 9 now.  It had me cracking up!

           " I'm NOT a troublemaker! I'm a BOY! So, be quiet!"
                                              ~ Saiah, age 3

           " Ouch!! I got a brain-freeze in my leg!"
                                              ~ Saiah, age 3

Lu has said some stinking cute words!
          
            " Ferflection" Instead of Reflection
                   ~ Lu, age 6

            " Neckerize" Instead of Recognize
                   ~ Lu, age 6

This is one I will be updating!  They are hilarious! I encourage you to start jotting down the things they say.  They love hearing them as they grow older! They want their funny moments to be shared , too!

Please, feel free to share your own funnies!

Let's laugh some more!
~Rach