Medications are not the answer in fighting the spiritual realm, rather it is a tool of manipulation of controlling and programming our minds. Why is it that psychotropic drugs are so readily available? They are practically given to us. Yet the things that have to do with our nutrition and natural remedies are so hard to attain because of expense and lack of awareness. Why is health not pushed? It's because the forces that rule this world are that of darkness ( Ephesians 6: 12.) We live in a fallen world. I have been one who turned to medications to "help" me manage better. Also, for the sake of my family. I had prayed for God to heal me. I felt like I was losing my mind! Now, take into account these things... I had my first child at the age of 19. I got married 2 weeks after. Between the ages of 20 and 24 I had 3 more children. So, I had 4 children pretty much back to back. I was a stay at home mom for 8 1/2 years. I was in a stressful marriage, due to our lack of maturity and huge responsibilities. In my 9 years of marriage there had been far more downs than ups. We never had time for each other, alone. I had high expectations of who he should have been as a spiritual leader, without considering the issues he'd have to address personally to even be able to lead. He also had high expectations of me and how I should be as a housewife...plus, I was emotionally up and down. I was "crazy" and paranoid. I did have trust issues, as did he. The point I'm trying to make here is that our environment has a lot to do with our health. It's hard to be positive when surrounded with negativity. It's hard to breathe when you’re suffocated by needy children and a distant husband with unreachable expectations. My focus was on myself. My husband didn't love me how I needed and wanted to be loved. I isolated myself from others out of fear of offending them or hurting them. I even had convinced myself that I truly would be doing my family, my children a favor if I'd ended my own life, because I felt out of control. I kept hurting the people I loved most. These feelings were STRONGEST while I was taking my medications. A certain medication called Artane was given to me to eliminate the side effects of another medication I was on. I had several side effects from each medication I was on, that just gave me more crazy symptoms, but let’s just focus on one. (I was on a total of 4 different medications for depression, bipolar II disorder, anxiety, OCD…with a few changes in different medications ). I took it because my other medication made my limbs painfully restless. However, this medication made me feel like I was definitely on a hard drug. I got cotton mouth and my body had this numb feeling. One particular day I was feeling so depressed and having a panic attack , due to guilt and shame in my own life, that I took that and washed it down with a beer, purposely! It worked quick...before I knew it family and pastors and an ambulance and cops were all at my house and I had no recollection of how it all happened. I had sent out texts to some friends and family that were obviously alerting! Yet, I don't know the content of those texts. I only share that because it shows me that at some point we really don't have control of ourselves...so, who is controlling us? I do believe that the combination of my life stresses with the medications, and alcohol in this case, really was me giving up control. That's a scary place to be at. I don't know, maybe I got a bit too extreme here....but maybe it just got real for some of you. If I'm reaching out to even one person who can relate, and it changes their perspective and turns them to Jesus, then mission accomplished! Don't find yourselves deceived by relating to those commercials trying to get you to think a medication is going to make life bright and sunny all of a sudden ( with only a million horrible side effects.) I am now, unfortunately divorced, yet fortunately out of an environment that was killing me. God has provided me with an amazing job helping people understand the importance of proper nutrition, physical activity, and faith. I have been off medications of all pharmaceutical sorts for over 2 years now, and I feel mentally healthier than ever. The knowledge I have gained through my job has truly saved me. I know specifically the foods to stay away from that trigger all those horrible feelings. I know the importance of exercise, and how it is healing to the mind. And I am so aware of my spiritual surroundings. I praise God that it's where I'm weakest that His power is made perfect and His glory shines brightest (2 Corinthians 12: 9-10.) All glory be to God! He brought me through it all. He never left me, as He promised ( Deuteronomy 31:6.) Praise God, there is good news to be shared to all who will hear! It’s God's will that not one shall perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16.) We are created in the image of the the Holy trinity. Gen 1:26-27 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. I just want to point out that the trinity is pointed out here. And that they are all One, not separate entities. So, though I may have trailed off my original topic here, I believe it was brought to the core it was meant to be. I believe that this was divinely inspired by the Holy Spirit, who is in me. I usually have a difficult time articulating things because my mind usually is faster than my words. I am amazed how much better I am at writing than speaking. In closing, I encourage all who struggle with the labels put to your natural tendencies (NOT disorders), to bring glory to God, and praise His name for blessing you with a sensitive spirit, KNOWING that was part of your unique design. God makes no mistakes. A dear sister so sweetly pointed out to me, we are not cursed by our earthly blood line, as God's children we are part of His blood line! Praise God! So spread the Good News.